broken ballerina

by ghost mail

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price


  • Cassette + Digital Album

    lo-quality cassette tape, artwork hand made and printed. Includes a bonus track.

    each order comes with:

    -brand new cassette tape
    -8 page hand stitched booklet/zine lyrics and artwork
    (created specifically for broken ballerina)
    -ghost mail button
    -broken ballerina sticker
    -broken ballerina guitar chord/tab booklet
    (so you can play broken ballerina songs)
    -surprise origami animal
    -handwritten thank you card

    Includes unlimited streaming of broken ballerina via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 7 days
    edition of 5  3 remaining

      $6 USD




released August 1, 2017

album recorded november 2014- june 2016.

written and recorded by rudy castillo- vox, electric guitar,
acoustic guitar, synth, drums, keyboard

artwork by Rudy Castillo

thank you to family and friends

thank you Alyssa for letting me record music in your home

thanks for the listen



all rights reserved


ghost mail Somerset, Texas

texas based lo-fi bedroom pop musician

favorite conversations:
love, death and space


contact / help

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Track Name: mailbox at the bottom of the lake
….And I love you
For what it’s worth.
And I saw you without a shirt
At the bottom of the lake
You’ll find a mailbox, it was fate

Open the letters
and you’ll find my heart

Everything is blurry, I cannot see
The water suffocates me
When we drown, hold my hand,
hold my hand, please hold my hand
Track Name: i'm fine (hazel english cover)
I, I can't deny I'm paralyzed from the inside
Every day I wake to feel the same
And every time you ask me how I'm feeling
I just smile and tell you that I'm fine

I, I don't know why I'm terrified of everything
Just to call the doctor seems so daunting
For most of my life I felt a sharp uncertainty
Now it’s just become a part of me

I, I can't deny I'm paralyzed from the inside
Every day I wake to feel the same
every time you ask me how I'm feeling
I just smile and tell you that I'm fine
It's hard to stay true, to myself and to you

I can't measure up to this boy you thought you knew
This aching in my heart is tearing me apart
But, darling all your love is somehow not enough
Track Name: broken ballerina
Wash your face girl there’s no more workouts
9 to 5 that’s what your life’s about
No more fake smiles it’s all for real now
Blank faces and closed mouths

No more twirly dresses dancing on hardwood floors
Just you walking out through open doors

Every time you spun around
You drowned in yourself pity wanting more
But life is hard after dancing for so long
Track Name: clumsy drunk
Oh, broken heart, will you mend tonight?
Oh, clumsy drunk, can you pretend to care?
I’m in this bedroom wasting my heart away
Rotten soul collapses I spill alcohol on the
cigarette tray
Track Name: no, the moon (teen suicide cover)
The sun is hidden behind the clouds
the sun goes down, I see it fall
I write your name at the grocery store
I want to see what it’s like to be you

I’m lying down, it’s raining now
when things are gone
you can’t have them back
I close my eyes, it’s late at night
I hope I won’t have that dream again.
Track Name: cuz you left
I thought you left please get outta my head
You just won’t let me ever forget

Cuz you left me alone again
You stopped with the calls and texts

I was so damaged get out my head
You can’t just let me ever forget
Track Name: ferris wheel
We were laughing atop of the world.
You smiled and said, “I love you”
Then you leaned in and put my arm around you.
And then we shared the most passionate conversations.
We looked down and saw little specs of dots on
the ground. It was just you and me. It was just you and me.
You and me
Track Name: the last curtsy
Did I know you would quit on yourself today?
Dancing has always been your life before me

And I wish you would just go far away
And I wish you could just stop dancing for today

Where was I when you left the city?
Why didn’t you call me?
I will always pick up for you